I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
babies were throwing up all over the place
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
