So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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