I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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