I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
