i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
