so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
