If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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