I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
no, he came in my armpit
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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