but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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