u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
