All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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