he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
