Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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