I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
North Korea, Best Korea!
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
