So drunk its hurt
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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