officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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