I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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