You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
