OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I touched a dick in church today
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
