I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
