Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
