I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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