Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
