I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
