Why does Corona taste like a burp?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
