There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
