Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
