Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
