if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
