so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You need a sexual gate keeper
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
