You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You dont lie about slip and slides
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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