so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
