You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
