We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
