it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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