I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I met the friendliest cop last night
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Randomize