Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
