I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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