She announced her abortion via fbk
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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