Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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