Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize