I cockslap morals
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
