Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
