Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
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