just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
