well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
