Will you blow on my dice?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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