I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
and you fell through a lawn chair
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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