even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
