is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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