lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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