why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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