i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
