Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Is Oprah even human
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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