So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
