chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
