do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
