I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
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