I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It's never too late to be topless.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
