hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Randomize
