It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
