Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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