great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
