There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
