Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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