Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
