he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
