U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
