its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You are a genius and a whore.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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