Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
