Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
