Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
