Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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