This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
