We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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